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27 September 2008 @ 05:53 am
 
Christmas time again.

It's... perfect. It's the best thing to wake up to. Family. Home. Love.

I feel like I'm taking life too slowly, tiny hobbled steps when I want the freedom to race forward, but I won't let myself. It's frustrating.

Cid is with me, every hour, of every day. Normally, neither of us would take to that. Though we're very close and enjoy one another's company, we're also the kind of person to enjoy our space and independence. We should be shying away from such constant contact. But right now, I need it, I eat his presence up like life-sustaining food, and he seems eager to give it. I suppose, in a way, it's true. Without him... things would have spiralled much earlier. I would not have this journal. I wouldn't be alive to keep it.

The twins, as rambunctious as they are, seem to bounce back and forth between us like magnets between poles. They'll run outside, and I'll follow, but I'll watch as they tackle Cid from my seat on the porchswing, and watch them roll and tumble and roughhouse happily in the tall grass; when they're all tuckered out, they come back inside, and it's me they flock to, piling themselves on me like puppies, their weight and warmth a comfort to me.

These are lazy days.

Life is good.

I am happy.
 
 
 
belong_to_boo on September 27th, 2008 01:36 pm (UTC)
"Ah! Goddamnit-"

Quip shoves up his welding mask, frowning fiercely, and examines his fingertips. Clumsy. He should have kept his mind on the goddamn work. That's what he gets for fantasising about couches and pretty little waifs on them. Naked. Panting the way he did, just after he kissed him, all flushed and porcelain, hair so fine-

"Stupid SOB."

He tsks irritatedly, and tosses his welder's mask onto the workbench, heading to the bathroom to bandage his fingers. In the background, he could hear the water running, and heavy splashing, and it made him quirk up a smile. Silly bastard, nothing was ever clean enough for him - even before the accident, it was all, "Quip, you have to do laundry more than twice a month" and "Quip, you can't eat off a moldy plate". Fussy.

He frowns. Hadn't he been doing dishes after breakfast, though? They hadn't eaten in between then... Iever wasn't cooking anything, hadn't finished baking anything... He tugs Doc's watch from his pocket and pops it open. Why the Hell was he doing dishes for two hours...?

He shoves the watch back into his pocket, finishes bandaging his fingers, and wanders out into the kitchen. "Babe?" He asks cautiously, finding Iever standing at the sink and furiously scrubbing something.

Oh shit.

He knew that posture. He knew those sounds. It meant something was seriously wrong - that something, probably in that pretty silver head, had provoked serious distress - even tears.

He moves up gently behind the slip of a man. "Iever? What's wrong, beautiful?" He asks softly.
Iever Aberley-Valentine: Ieverlem0n_pie on September 27th, 2008 01:42 pm (UTC)
"Nothing," Iever says tightly, his body rigid against Quip's. He scrubbing at an old coffee mug the way someone might try and scrub away years of burnt on food in an old, greasy oven.

Iever stops, sighing, brushing some hair out of his face with his arm. "... It's just... I just... I can't get the damn mug clean. The stains, they won't come out..." he says, voice small, and he shows Quip the mug. It has very fine marks, where years of coffee and dark liquids have seemed into the porcelain and permanently stained it.
belong_to_boo on September 27th, 2008 01:44 pm (UTC)
Quip frowns, and puts his arms about Iever.

"Babe, some of those stains jus' don' come out. But iffin it bothers ye so much, we can always get a new one," he offers.
Iever Aberley-Valentine: Ieverlem0n_pie on September 27th, 2008 01:49 pm (UTC)
Iever goes eerily still in Quip's arms, so highly-strung you could have plucked a tune from him.



"....What?"
belong_to_boo on September 27th, 2008 01:55 pm (UTC)
Feeling the tension in him, Quip pulls back some, resting his hands on his hips.

"Babe, s'just a dirty ol' cup. These things happen. Stains se'le in. They get all kinds o'chipped and broken. T'ain't worth cryin' over, Boo... we'll just get ye a new one, all nice and clean. Don't worry yer pretty head 'bout it none, a'right?" He says softly.
Iever Aberley-Valentine: Ieverlem0n_pie on September 27th, 2008 01:58 pm (UTC)
Iever's shoulders shake. He curls up, away from Quip, and starts sobbing, hard. It didn't sound like someone crying over a stained mug; it sounded like someone crying in despair, hurt and without hope. "I c-c-can.... get th-em o-out..." he sobs wretchedly, pleadingly.
belong_to_boo on September 27th, 2008 02:01 pm (UTC)
"Babe..." He reaches for the mug. "Just throw it out. It ain't worth your heartache."
Iever Aberley-Valentine: Ieverlem0n_pie on September 27th, 2008 02:05 pm (UTC)
"DON'T TOUCH IT!" Iever screams, wrenching away from him, cradling the sopping mug to his chest like a precious possession. He looks at Quip as if the metal worker had tried to rape him. "You lied! You said I could get better!" He screams at Quip, tears running freely down his face.
belong_to_boo on September 27th, 2008 02:07 pm (UTC)
Quip just stands there, staring at him stupidly.

"... what?"
Iever Aberley-Valentine: Ieverlem0n_pie on September 27th, 2008 02:10 pm (UTC)
Iever shakes the mug at him. "They wont come out. The stains wont come out! I've tried everything, everything.... I can... can... can s-still fee-l them i-in me.... H-oh god...." Iever backs away until he hits the wall, trembling and crying chronically.
belong_to_boo on September 27th, 2008 02:17 pm (UTC)
Quip hurries to him, hands outstretched to touch him, but hesitant.

"Boo - that what this's all about? Babe - Iever - listen t'me. I was talkin' 'bout a mug. Not you. You know better 'an that. You look, you look right this got-damned instant at your wrist. Y'see that? Yer wearin' my love 'n' devotion right there on ye. Ferget about those bastards. There ain't nobody inside ye, on ye, but me, babe."
Iever Aberley-Valentine: Ieverlem0n_pie on September 27th, 2008 02:25 pm (UTC)
Iever shakes his head, fingers clutched tightly to the mug. "I'm s-stained... stained... They wont come out, they won't e-ever come out, they've settled in," Iever sobs, using Quip's words. "I-I'm only good f-or throwing out," he cries, covering his face with his hands, holding the mug by it's handle.
belong_to_boo on September 27th, 2008 02:31 pm (UTC)
Quip throws caution to the side, and grabs Iever up against him. He snatches the mug away from him. He gives him a little shake, urging his attention, and holds up the mug.

"Iever. IEVER. Look at me, now. This's a mug. A got-damned mug, Iever. Not th'man I love, not th'man I wanna spend my life with. This mug, I c'n throw it away. I c'n break it. I c'n keep it ferever an' never use it. But I can't do a single one o'those things t'you." He turns the mug so Iever can see inside it. "Y'know what I see in 'ere? On th'inside? I see somethin' so beautiful and well-loved that I wanna keep it and use it every goddamn day, mornin' noon an' night. D'ye un'erstand, Boo?"
Iever Aberley-Valentine: Ieverlem0n_pie on September 27th, 2008 02:37 pm (UTC)
Iever looks up at Quip, his grey eyes large, wide, shining, spilling tears down pretty cheeks. His bottom lip trembles, his whole face so distruaght and tiny and child-like. He barely looked 12.

He looks at Quip to make it better.

"Why can't I stop dreaming about it? Why do they get to... rape me, again, and again, a-and. a-g..."
belong_to_boo on September 27th, 2008 02:44 pm (UTC)
Quip sets the mug firmly aside, and wraps Iever up against him, rocking him and stroking his hair. His jaw twitches with anger. He had known, how could he not? But to hear Iever say it, say it while crying, while broken and hopeless, drove home the enormity of what had happened - of how terribly they'd hurt him.

"They can't no more, babe. Vince took care of 'em. They're gone now. They're jus' dreams, jus' bad memories. They ain't never gonna git ye again. It's jus' me now. Jus' me an' you. They got no part o'us."

Iever Aberley-Valentine: Ieverlem0n_pie on September 27th, 2008 02:52 pm (UTC)
Iever sobs hard, pressing himself to Quip's front, hugging him tightly, trying to forget that everything and everyone else existed save for Quip.
belong_to_boo on September 27th, 2008 02:55 pm (UTC)
Quip continues to stroke his hair.

"Sssshhhh, that's it... that's it... jus' hold onte me, I'm here, beautiful, I'm here..."

God... was there any fixing this? He had no power over nightmares, or irrational fears... he couldn't change the past. And this... God... especially this... how did somebody ever come back from this?
Iever Aberley-Valentine: Ieverlem0n_pie on September 27th, 2008 03:02 pm (UTC)
After a while, the worst of Iever's crying subsides into gentle tears and sniffing.

"....I'm sorry."
belong_to_boo on September 27th, 2008 03:05 pm (UTC)
"Fer what?" Quip asks, aghast, thinking he might be apologising for... what they'd done to him. "Don't be stupid, none o'that shit is yer fault, y'understand? Y'understand me, Boo?" He asks frantically, jostling him.
Iever Aberley-Valentine: Ieverlem0n_pie on September 27th, 2008 03:08 pm (UTC)
Iever sniffs, and smiles smally, wetly up at Quip.

"I'm sorry... for being so cracked and stained. Can we... can we lie down for a little while? I don't sleep so well if you're not holding me."
belong_to_boo on September 27th, 2008 03:11 pm (UTC)
Quip relaxes slowly, raising a hand to brush back the too-fine silver hair.

"Anythin' y'want, Boo. Y'know that. I'd give ye my still-beatin' heart, if ye asked. I love ye so damned much..."
Iever Aberley-Valentine: Ieverlem0n_pie on September 27th, 2008 03:16 pm (UTC)
"I love you too, so much," Iever says, his throat closing up, and he looks like he might cry again. He presses a hand to his face, taking in a shakey breath. "Please, let's go to bed."
belong_to_boo on September 27th, 2008 03:18 pm (UTC)
"Yer wish," he says softly, and hefts Iever up into his arms, curled against his chest, and brings them to the bedroom, lying them out together.
Iever Aberley-Valentine: Quip and Melem0n_pie on September 27th, 2008 03:27 pm (UTC)
Iever curls himself up in Quip like a blanket nestling against the warm, safe, familiar body, pulling Quip's arms around himself. He sighs, happily, smiling when Rapunzel trundles into the room and makes himself comfortable on the floor near his master.

Iever's eyes fall half closed. He watches the sun light through the window. It was such a beautiful day. It would be so nice, to take Rapunzel out for a real walk...
belong_to_boo on September 27th, 2008 03:40 pm (UTC)
Quip reaches up to stroke back Iever's hair, soothing him to sleep, the bandages on his fingers catching at the downy hair. He frowns, irritated, but doesn't stop.
Iever Aberley-Valentine: Ieverlem0n_pie on September 27th, 2008 03:43 pm (UTC)
Iever's eyes flicker open and he reaches up, grabbing Quip's hand. "What happened?" he asks, worried. Quip didn't have the bandaid that morning.
belong_to_boo on September 27th, 2008 03:45 pm (UTC)
Quip winces, and looks away embarassedly. "Got... um, distracted. While I was workin'. Got a little singed."
Iever Aberley-Valentine: Photo like Melem0n_pie on September 27th, 2008 03:49 pm (UTC)
"What were you thinking about? Finger food?" Iever chastises. Safe in the knowledge he wasn't going to open a wound, Iever peels the bandaid off to take a look at the damage. "Ouch," he empathises.
belong_to_boo on September 27th, 2008 03:53 pm (UTC)
"Nothin'," he says sullenly, face flushed.
Iever Aberley-Valentine: Photo like Melem0n_pie on September 27th, 2008 03:57 pm (UTC)
Iever doesn't notice, too busy inspecting the injury. "Nothing? You just said you got distracted. Does it hurt? You should run it under cold water," Iever advises, and then sucks Quip's finger into his mouth, the way he sucked on his own if he accidentally cut or burnt himself in the kitchen.
belong_to_boo on September 27th, 2008 04:02 pm (UTC)
Quip hisses, his brow furrowing with something that looked very much like pain, but was very much the opposite.
Iever Aberley-Valentine: Photo like Melem0n_pie on September 27th, 2008 04:07 pm (UTC)
Iever lets Quip's finger go with a wet 'O'. "Sorry... that usually makes my cuts feel better," he explains bashfully.
belong_to_boo on September 27th, 2008 04:14 pm (UTC)
"It's... makin' me feel a li'l too better, y'know what I mean..." He admits quietly, shifting.
Iever Aberley-Valentine: Ieverlem0n_pie on September 27th, 2008 04:20 pm (UTC)
Iever's eyes go wide. He flushes darkly, hugely embarrassed. "Oh, my god, I... um, sorry, sorry I..." he looks away, not knowing what to do or say. His face creases. Why did he always have to be so.... pathetic, so useless?

He's quiet a while.

"...Is it more cruel if I stop, or.. or continue?" Iever asks uncertainly, so uncertain about these things.
belong_to_boo on September 27th, 2008 04:23 pm (UTC)
Quip gently slips his hand from Iever's cradling grip. "Um... I think it's best if ye stop, so I don't get too excited." He looks down at the rise in his jeans, and groans, burying his face in Iever's hair. "Too late."
Iever Aberley-Valentine: Ieverlem0n_pie on September 27th, 2008 04:30 pm (UTC)
Iever swallows, torn between smiling and writhing away in embarrased, humiliated horror. He guiltily threads his fingers into Quip's thick hair, soothing himself with familiar smell of his boyfriend.

"I could... um.... help..." he offers lamely, still uncertain.
belong_to_boo on September 27th, 2008 04:33 pm (UTC)
Quip shakes his head, making the motion a little like nuzzling into his neck.

"When ye wannit, then we'll do that. Until then," he draws back, embarassed. "I'll, uh, take things int'my own hands, ye know."
Iever Aberley-Valentine: Ieverlem0n_pie on September 27th, 2008 04:41 pm (UTC)
Iever felt relieved.

He hated himself for that.

Useless, useless, useless...

"Sorry," he mumbles weakly, unable to look Quip in the eye.
belong_to_boo on September 27th, 2008 04:44 pm (UTC)
Quip cups Iever's face, and smiles down at him softly. "Don't be, beautiful. Th'time jus' ain't right yet. Don't sweat it. Even if it never happens, that don't change nothin'. I love you. An' yeah... I think yer fuckin' hot, and I'd love t'follow through. But I can wait. I can wait fer you. Until then... I'm gonna... um, take a bathroom break."
Iever Aberley-Valentine: Photo like Melem0n_pie on September 27th, 2008 04:49 pm (UTC)
Iever smiles sadly. He leans in, and kisses Quip's mouth tenderly.

"You're too good for me," he says softly. "I'll get better for you, I promise." Then Iever turns around onto his other side so that Quip's got little choice but to take his 'break'.
belong_to_boo on September 27th, 2008 04:51 pm (UTC)
Quip opens his mouth to say something more, but as Iever rolls over, heaves a sigh, dropping his hand. After a second, he reaches out to stroke away Iever's hair and kiss his neck reverently, lingering for a heartbeat.

The bed creaks and the old floor groans as Quip wanders out.
Iever Aberley-Valentine: Ieverlem0n_pie on September 27th, 2008 04:59 pm (UTC)
Iever melts under the kiss, half tempted to pull Quip back, to tell him it was alright, he really wanted to try now... but he knew he wasn't ready, not yet. He'd freak out half way through, if he was even lucky to get that far, and that would just be so much worse for them both.

Iever sighs, frustrated with himself.

A bird chirps outside. Rapunzel gets up and goes. A moment later, there's a scratching on the back door, and a familiar whining. Someone wants to go outside.

Outside. Rapunzel deserved some real outside, a walk. In the sun, with new places to sniff out. And... and they could go to Cid's place, and see Vincent, and Shera, and... and...

Iever sits up, his face determined. He goes and lets Rapunzel out the back, then heads towards the kitchen. He stops by the bathroom, hesitating, guilty. He presses his ear to the door.
belong_to_boo on September 27th, 2008 05:02 pm (UTC)
For a long time there's virtually no sound, just rustling, and then a shivering sigh. "Ie-verrrrr..."
Iever Aberley-Valentine: Ieverlem0n_pie on September 27th, 2008 05:06 pm (UTC)
Iever's fingers curl against the door. He lowers his head, blushing, and steps away quietly, moving on to the kitchen.

All the more incentive.

Iever pulls out their stockpile of lemons, and the ingredients for one hell of a cheesecake.