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28 September 2008 @ 05:00 am
 
I spoke briefly, with Iever.

( He made me a lemon cheesecake. It was very good. )

I don't know why I told him all that. But I did.

It doesn't feel any different, having said it aloud. Any more or less true.

But now he knows about me. Essentially everything. Even the things I haven't told Cid, and likely never will. And the rest, I think, unfortunately... he can glean for himself.



Collen and Caleb are growing so quickly. We might need to talk about that... maybe apprenticing them elsewhere for a while.

I hate it. I don't want to let them go. But they're 11 now. Young men, soon. And while we will always be their family, we can't be their whole world. I see it in Cid, too. The realisation, and resignation, sometimes. There are times these days where he and I will be together, in the silence, and it's... the sensation is difficult to describe. As if we've become so old and still, that we've become the same thing.

I don't know where my mind is, these days.
 
 
 
Cid: mesmokin_highwind on September 28th, 2008 01:17 pm (UTC)
"I've already eaten half a fridge in the last two day," Cid says, patting his stomach. "Shera cooks too much. She needs a new hobby. That's good about Iever though."
Vincent Valentinebeastunderneath on September 28th, 2008 01:26 pm (UTC)
Vincent flashes on Iever's reasoning for his cooking hobby and frowns, nibbling at the ham and humming thoughtfully.
Cid: serioussmokin_highwind on September 28th, 2008 01:32 pm (UTC)
Cid watches Vincent gnaw at the ham. He'd be lucky if Vincent finished the piece, and seriously doubted Vincent would touch anything else on the plate. Or at least, ate anything else. He'd probably touch it all, play with it, cut it up to make it look like he'd eaten more than he had.

Cid leans forwards, arms on his knees. "Listen Vince. I want ye te think of somethin' fer me. Something good, somethin' ye really, really like, but don't often get. It can be.. a food, or, an item, or a place, or a damn colour, or whatever. Just... somethin' ye like."
Vincent Valentinebeastunderneath on September 28th, 2008 01:35 pm (UTC)
Vincent's frown intensifies, and he gives Cid a wary, questioning look.
Cid: serioussmokin_highwind on September 28th, 2008 01:39 pm (UTC)
Cid clasps his hands, sighing. "Whatever it is, I'll give it te ye, if ye try an' eat more. Like a bribe, a reward. Vince, this is gettin' serious. I don't... I don't wanna force ye, but ye aint leaving me a lot o' choice 'ere."
Vincent Valentinebeastunderneath on September 28th, 2008 01:51 pm (UTC)
Vincent swallows stiffly, and sets the meat aside, drawing up his knee and resting a skinny arm across it as he thought.

The offer of a reward was tempting. Anything he wanted, and Cid would give it to him. Just for eating. For performing a necessary human function.

... for feeding the evil in him, fatting them, glutting them so that they grew and grew, in strength, in power.

But he'd been fine before, hadn't he? He'd eaten so much before... Bannie. They never took over, never took hold of his mind or body, only when he willed them to.

But there was always the chance...

But he couldn't let Cid down down...

He grunted, frustrated.
Cid: getin' pissedsmokin_highwind on September 28th, 2008 01:56 pm (UTC)
"Hey," Cid said, getting up and sitting down next to Vincent, putting an arm about his shoulders. "I know that look. Don't ye dare start thinkin'. On anyone else, that's a damn good thing. When ye do it, ye start swallowin' fuckin' bleach. Just tell me somethin' ye want, somethin' ye like. I'll handle the goddamn rest."
Vincent Valentinebeastunderneath on September 28th, 2008 02:16 pm (UTC)
Vincent glances at him, staring at him from the corner of his eye for a heartbeat, before looking away again. He swallows audibly.

"... I'm ashamed to say," he whispers finally.
Cid: serioussmokin_highwind on September 28th, 2008 02:18 pm (UTC)
Cid tugs Vincent in against him.

"Don't be a goddamn numbskull. Ye don't got te be ashamed 'bout anythin' around me, alright?" He says softly.
Vincent Valentinebeastunderneath on September 28th, 2008 02:26 pm (UTC)
"I like... when you praise me," he says hoarsely. "And when you pet me. I like... being near to you." His body stiffens and leans away slightly, as if expecting a violent rejection.
Cid: serioussmokin_highwind on September 28th, 2008 02:31 pm (UTC)
Cid tugs Vincent back in, and puts his hand in the dark hair. "Coulda almost fooled me. Jesus Vince, do ye ever give yerself a break from denyin' yerself the things ye enjoy most?" Cid asks, exasperated, but his voice is soft, gentle. He rests his grizzled cheek against Vincent's soft head.

"Alright, it's a deal. The more ye eat, the more I lavish ye. Get me?"
Vincent Valentinebeastunderneath on September 28th, 2008 02:38 pm (UTC)
Vincent nods against him, and sits up, staring down at the plate, at the piece of ham sitting innocuously atop it all. He picked it up, handling it like a cobra poised to strike, and after another short staring contest, tore it in half and ate one of the halves, slowly, mechanically.

He swallowed.

He waited.

Nothing happened.

Nothing stirred in him. No voices, but the usual low murmur. No pain. No feeling of growth. It was like he hadn't even gotten their attention.

... they could be deceiving him. Or maybe he just didn't know what to look for. It had happened before.

He takes a few healthy swallows from a glass of milk, licking his top lip. He stared down at the plate, waiting. He wasn't sure for what, now.
Cid: mesmokin_highwind on September 28th, 2008 02:40 pm (UTC)
Cid grins. He hadn't really expected it to work so well, so soon. When Vincent pauses, looking uncertain, he grabs the pretty chin and turn Vincent to face him.

Cid kisses him, deep and slow.
Vincent Valentinebeastunderneath on September 28th, 2008 02:44 pm (UTC)
Vincent lets him, opening up to him passively, making a curious noise into his mouth.
Cid: smilin'smokin_highwind on September 28th, 2008 03:03 pm (UTC)
Cid smiles into the kiss. He keeps it up a little longer, then pulls back, brushing his hand through Vincent's hair.

"'M proud o' ye, ye know that?"
Vincent Valentinebeastunderneath on September 28th, 2008 03:08 pm (UTC)
Vincent opens dazed eyes, flicking back and forth between Cid's, and slowly quirks up a tiny grin.
Cid: mesmokin_highwind on September 28th, 2008 03:11 pm (UTC)
Cid smiles back, wide and carefree. He leans in like he means to kiss Vincent again and not stop for a long time, but there's footsteps pounding on the landing, and the voices of two exciteable boys. Cid pulls back, sighing. He ruffles Vincent's hair. "Remember our agreement," he says, pointing a finger at Vincent, and gets up incase he needs to help Shera with any bags.
Vincent Valentinebeastunderneath on September 28th, 2008 03:13 pm (UTC)
Vincent watches him go, his mind still feeling a little short-circuited by the kiss.

He hadn't expected the kiss, but kisses were nice, too.

... not as nice, though, as seeing Cid smile at him like that.